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A Complicated Relationship

Jennifer Sills • Mar 01, 2021

A Complicated Relationship by Keri Ninness

by Keri Ninness


Today is #rarediseaseday2021. I have a complicated relationship with this day. There are things a parent of a child with a rare disease is *supposed* to say. We should say we are grateful (we are) and that our child is hard working, resilient, persevering (dear heavens is he). We should say we wouldn’t change a thing. Here’s where I trip up.


On this side of heaven I am not okay watching the toll this takes on Thomas and our family. I am terrible at “rejoicing in suffering” as Paul challenges us. While I can rattle off 50 ways #okurchung is growing and sanctifying my family, the constant guessing game of how to treat the newest medical issue or latest emotional ramifications is daunting. Staying ahead of medical, behavioral, academic needs is a heavy weight. There is no cruise control. Today please, please honor my boy with your prayers for all children with a rare disease. There is no straight line for helping these babies, if there is even a line at all. And in a special way pray for their caregivers. We have it so very good in our little corner but the toll on caregivers is immense. Like in everything, there is much suffering in the joy.


We won’t talk about rare disease day because it’s also the first spring training game for Thomas’s beloved Atlanta Braves so he will allow zero other topics of conversation. There may be a slight exception for reminding EVERYONE how he had five (two) hits and his team got their first W. I don’t love rare disease, but I love the hell out of my favorite baseball player who happens to have one 💙

A Complicated Relationship by Keri Ninness

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Newborn Genetic Screenings
By Penelope Gatlin 05 Oct, 2023
By Penelope Gatlin October 2023 When our son was born in 2012, he was hypotonic, severely jaundiced, had feeding difficulties and features such as epicanthic folds and small low set ears. We were told immediately that doctors had suspicions of a genetic syndrome. At that time, genetic testing was limited and once abnormal karyotype, Trisomy 21, and Fragile X were ruled out, we left the hospital with an 8 day old and no diagnosis. While no testing was available at that time to identify the ultra-rare syndrome my child had, because it wouldn’t even be identified until 4 years later, I can only imagine the difference it would have made to our journey to have such an answer sooner. Instead, we were unprepared and actually unaware that just because a diagnosis hadn’t been made then that it didn’t mean there wasn’t in fact a rare disease present. Instead, we dealt with issues as they came and worried and wondered what would be next. From feeding issues and reflux and constipation, to low muscle tone and delayed walking, to speech delay, social and emotional delays, toileting delays, diagnoses of developmental delay, anxiety, situational mutism, sensory processing disorder, and autism, until finally genetic testing that revealed the diagnosis that we’d waited 7 years to find out. While receiving a diagnosis can seem scary, not having an answer but knowing there must be one is even more so. In 2019, the day I clicked onto the portal to see the test results, the largest word on the page was POSITIVE. My heart stopped for a second. For the first time, I read the words “Okur-Chung Neurodevelopmental Disorder.” A roller coaster of emotions ensued, including sadness that we hadn’t known this from birth because it would have made us as parents more prepared, and given us more understanding about what might arise next. Relief that we had an answer, grateful that this syndrome had been identified and that he was among one of the first hundred diagnosed with it in the world, and glad we had the privilege to have access to the testing. Excitement that we can participate in future research. Fright that there’s so much we don’t know about OCNDS, and happiness that there is something that we do. A feeling that we are no longer shooting in the dark and have a small but supportive community to rely on and learn from. I am hopeful that one day, all newborns with features like my child will be tested at birth, so parents can have access to the answers, support, and interventions and therapies that can best help their child as soon as possible.
Autism Diagnosis
By Terri Jordan 23 Aug, 2023
For 16 years, my child displayed numerous symptoms that left us searching for answers, but a genetic diagnosis remained elusive. I considered having my child evaluated for autism to shed light on their situation. However, when I reached out to teachers, doctors, and therapists, I received frustrating responses: “Your child is too friendly to be autistic.” This statement made me doubt the possibility of autism because my child was sociable. “Your child can transition from one activity to another – they are not autistic.” Hearing this, I questioned whether my child’s ability to shift activities invalidated the need for an autism evaluation. “Your child can look me in the eye and answer questions – they are not autistic.” Observations like this made me second-guess the idea of autism, even though my child faced various challenges. “Getting a diagnosis that does not apply to your child would be a big waste of money.” Despite my persistent concerns, this cautionary advice about the evaluation costs left me hesitant. We finally pursued an evaluation when my son turned 20, and it confirmed that he is indeed on the autism spectrum (severe side). Looking back, I regret not taking this step sooner. I should have pursued the autism diagnosis before we received the genetic diagnosis. There are several benefits we could have gained as a family if we had pursued an early diagnosis: “Early Support Is Crucial:” I now realize that early intervention could profoundly impact my child’s development. We could have accessed the right services and therapies much earlier with a diagnosis. “Understanding My Child Better:” I struggled to comprehend my child’s behaviors and communication difficulties. An earlier diagnosis could have provided insights into their unique needs and thought processes. The education could also help me explain how to react to my child’s behavior to family members. “Tailored Guidance and Resources:” A diagnosis could have opened doors to specialized resources and guidance, enabling me to provide the best possible support for my child. “Connecting with Others:” Being part of the autism community might have connected us with other parents who understand our experiences. Sharing and learning from each other could have been invaluable. “Planning for the Future:” Knowing more about my child’s strengths and challenges could have helped me better plan their future, including education, career, and overall well-being. Depending on your location, many states offer funding and support if your child has an autism diagnosis. I wish I listened to my voice instead of being swayed by experts who didn’t fully understand my child’s situation. Ultimately, I know this decision is significant, requiring careful consideration by parents. Looking back, I wish I had trusted my instincts and sought an evaluation sooner to improve my child’s life.
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